Our movement centres around mental health and happiness, so there can be rare instances where someone who is very unhappy and considering harming themselves may attend our events. This guidance is to help you respond to such a situation as a fellow human in the spirit of our principles of compassion and boundaries. You are not expected to take responsibility for someone else’s mental health or give them mental health advice. 

STEP 1: Take a breath and notice how you are feeling
We rarely make good decisions in a reactive state - so take at least one deep breath in and out before doing anything else. Give some care and attention to the feelings that have arisen in you so that they don't spill out onto others.

STEP 2: Acknowledge and demonstrate care (for the group also)
It’s important that people feel heard (even if you find what they are saying difficult) as otherwise they are unlikely to hear your requests to them either. Acknowledge what they’ve said and any feelings they’ve expressed, and then bridge to the feelings that have come up for you, and your sense of what the rest of the group might be feeling also. 
(e.g. “I hear you saying ___ and that you are feeling ___ which must be really hard for you. I notice that I’m also feeling ___ and sense that the group might be feeling a bit ___ at this moment also...).

STEP 3: Offer a separate space
Either you or your co-volunteer can offer to go into a temporary private breakout room with this person, or to stay in the main room together when the rest of the group goes into breakout rooms, or you can find a time at the end of the session to speak. Once they agree to this, return your focus to running the session.

In the check-in space, follow the script below... 

SAFEGUARDING CHECK-IN SCRIPT: 

Q1: What's going on for you and how are you feeling?
Listen compassionately to what is shared and express empathy and concern where appropriate. Create a sense of a safe space and that you’re here to listen.

Q2: How long have you been feeling like this?
This might feel difficult to ask, but it is really important. We need to listen compassionately and without judgement so that someone can feel safe to share with us. The person may have long term depression and be used to managing these feelings, or this may be a new and imminent risk.

Q3: Have you been thinking of harming yourself (and do you have plans to do so)?

If yes, move to emergency support below. 
If no, continue...
Q4: I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been going through this, can I ask who you have around to support you?
Find out if they have any professional support in place and what kind of friends and family support is available for them. Continue to acknowledge the difficulty of what they are dealing with and celebrate their efforts to seek help and support (e.g. by joining the group).

ACTION 1. Signpost: Let them know that there are ways they can get professional help by reaching out to their GP or calling a service like Samaritans (useful links below). Encourage them to speak to close friends and family. 
● (United Kingdom) NHS Helpline: 111 
● (United Kingdom) Samaritans: 116 123 
● (International) Helplines: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

ACTION 2. Welcome back: Make sure they feel welcome in the group and that they feel valued and cared for - that this is a space where they can connect with others and focus on the positive actions that might help in this difficult time.

ACTION 3. Fill in a Safeguarding incident report here: so we can follow up and check they (and you) are being properly supported.

Even if you feel you were able to support the person and things have been resolved, it's always worth checking in if something is not sitting well with you, you want to talk through what action you've taken, or you just want a check-in to get support yourself. The safeguarding form goes directly to our Community Wellbeing and Safeguarding Manager.

EMERGENCY ACTION PLAN 
If someone communicates they are at imminent risk of harm we must act quickly to try to help if we can by involving emergency services.

I’m feeling worried about you and need to call someone to see if we can get anyone to come over and help you. Can you tell me the address of where you are currently?

ACTION 1. Write down their address (or look up their postcode under the member list for your group) - check a recent ‘session coming up’ email from us to find that list if needed.

ACTION 2. Have your co-volunteer dial 999 (or dial it yourself on another device) - whilst keeping the person on the line with you until the emergency services arrive.

ACTION 3. Fill in a Safeguarding incident report here - making sure to tick ‘yes’ on risk of harm so it is flagged for an urgent response from the team so we can follow up as quickly as possible. 
 

There may be instances when someone in our community says something that indicates that either they or someone else is at risk of abuse.  Different types of abuse can include:

• Physical abuse
• Sexual abuse
• Psychological or emotional abuse
• Financial abuse
• Domestic violence
• Neglect
• Modern slavery
• Organisational abuse
• Discriminatory abuse

Safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility, and we have a duty of care to the people we support.  This guidance is to help you respond to a situation where you feel concerned that someone is at risk of or is experiencing abuse.  Our response sits within our principles of compassionate boundaries and safeguarding vulnerable adults and children.  You are not expected to take responsibility for investigating or providing support or advice.

Identifying possible signs of abuse

Some common signs that there may be something concerning happening in someone’s life include:

• Mentioning something troubling
• Unexplained changes in behaviour or personality
• Becoming much quieter or withdrawn
• Displaying/experiencing a lot of fear
• Physical changes (e.g. weight loss or recurring injuries)

Everyone is unique and the signs that someone is experiencing abuse may depend on the type of abuse.  It is important to stay aware and open to potential signs that someone is at risk of harm or might need more support, so we can respond effectively.

If you have concerns that someone is at risk of or is experiencing abuse, you should follow the guidance below.

STEP 1:  Take a breath and notice how you’re feeling.
We rarely make good decisions in a reactive state - so take at least one deep breath in and out before doing anything else. Give some care and attention to the feelings that have arisen in you so that they don't spill out onto others.

STEP 2:  Acknowledge and demonstrate care 
It’s important that people feel heard (even if you find what they are saying difficult) as otherwise they are unlikely to hear your requests to them either. Acknowledge what they’ve said and any feelings they’ve expressed, and then bridge to the feelings that have come up for you, and your sense of what the rest of the group might be feeling also. 
(e.g. “I hear you saying ___ and that you are feeling ___ which must be really hard for you. I notice that I’m also feeling ___ and sense that the group might be feeling a bit ___ at this moment also...).

STEP 3:  Follow up in a separate space
Either you or your co-volunteer can offer to go into a temporary private breakout room with this person, or to stay in the main room together when the rest of the group goes into breakout rooms, or you can find a time at the end of the session to speak. Once they agree to this, return your focus to running the session.

In the check-in space, follow the actions and script below... 

Safeguarding check in actions and script:

Step 1:  Assess the situation - is someone at serious risk of immediate harm?  If so, go to the ‘emergency action plan’ below. 

Step 2:  Let the person know that based on what they have said, you are concerned that they/someone else is at risk of or is experiencing abuse.  ‘When you shared today that___________I felt concerned that you/someone else might be at risk of/might be experiencing abuse.  I will need to share this information with our Safeguarding Lead, who will contact you directly to talk about the next best steps to keep everyone safe and supported.  How do you feel about this?’  

Note down any comments the person makes, including any concerns or wishes the person has about what they would like to happen next.  If needed, emphasise that you cannot keep the information confidential as you have a duty of care to report any concerns to our safeguarding lead, but that information will only be shared with those who need to know.

Step 3:  Make a written record of what the person has told you, using their words, anything you have seen, and your actions.  If the person chooses to share more about the situation, avoid asking any leading questions, and make a note of what they say.

Step 4:  Fill in a Safeguarding incident report here as soon as possible so that we can follow up and check they (and you) are being properly supported.  Include your written record of what the person has said in your safeguarding report.  

Emergency Action Plan

If someone communicates that they or someone else is at immediate risk of serious harm, we must act quickly to try to help if we can by involving emergency services. You can say the following: 

"I’m feeling worried about you and need to call someone to see if we can get anyone to come over and help you. Can you tell me the address of where you are currently?"
 
ACTION 1. Write down their address (or look up their postcode under the member list for your group) - check a recent ‘session coming up’ email from us to find that list if needed.
 
ACTION 2. Have your co-volunteer dial 999/your local emergency service (or dial it yourself on another device) - whilst keeping the person on the line with you until the emergency services arrive.

ACTION 3. Fill in a Safeguarding incident report here - making sure to tick ‘yes’ on risk of harm so it is flagged for an urgent response from the team so we can follow up as quickly as possible. 

If we witness someone mistreating others we believe it is right to step in and take action. However, we should not put ourselves in danger. Compassion is a key part of our philosophy at Action for Happiness. Bullying and harassment is a complex psychological field. If someone is mistreating others then it is likely they may also be struggling themselves with their mental health or with a stressful life situation such as family breakdown or financial hardship. As well as supporting those affected by bullying or harassment we should explore whether the person mistreating others has needs that we can help them with.

Be mindful that people being bullied or harassed may sometimes appear to overreact to something that seems relatively trivial but which may be the 'last straw' following a series of incidents. They may not want to address the issue due to a fear of retribution if they complain. Some people may be reluctant to come forward as witnesses, as they may fear the consequences for themselves.

If you witness bullying or harassment don't join in. If someone tells you something unkind or spreads rumours and gossip close the conversation down.

Try to address any unpleasant comments and remarks in the moment as they happen. Calmly and kindly let the person know why what they have said or done is not appropriate. They may not be aware of how their behaviour affects others around them.

If you witness an ongoing bullying and harassment issue and if you feel confident to do so, open a conversation about what is happening with the person affected and offer them your support.

Encourage the bullied person to take action and let them know you will be an ally. Encourage them to enter mediation with the person causing the issue and/or to seek the support of the course leader.

If you don't feel confident to do this then raise the conversation in private with someone else appropriate (e.g. your course leader) who can then take steps to address the issue and contact AfH central office for support if necessary.

In the first instance, it helps to address any unpleasant comments and remarks in the moment as they happen, if you feel able. Calmly and kindly let the person know why what they have said or done is not appropriate and how it makes you feel. They may not be aware of how their behaviour affects others around them.

If you are being bullied or harassed over a period of time and the person doing it is not willing to listen to your needs it's time to move to the next step.

Find an ally, someone you trust and whom you feel comfortable to discuss the problem with and let them know what is happening. Don't be ashamed to share how you feel or what is going on.

Try to stay calm and recognise that criticism or personal remarks are not connected to you or your abilities. They may reflect the other person's own circumstances.

The first step is to talk to the person mistreating you. They may not realise how their behaviour is affecting you.

Your ally can support you to prepare what to say ahead of time so you can politely and calmly let the person know how their behaviour is making you feel and ask them to stop. Be firm, not aggressive and stick to the facts. Use your compassion and remember the person may have their own struggles that have led to this behaviour.

If you don't feel comfortable addressing the person directly you can ask your ally to talk to the person on your behalf.

If a frank compassionate conversation does not resolve the issue then it's possible to move to a formal mediation or counselling.

If someone is continually bullying and harassing and not willing to enter in a reconciliation process they may be asked to leave the event or course in order to preserve the benefit of the wider group.

If someone is being highly aggressive try to de-escalate the situation but do not put yourself in danger. It's natural to feel an inclination to mirror the aggression back at the person but try to avoid this, you can't fight fire with fire. Take some deep breaths and remain calm. Suggest the person takes a 'time out', ask them to leave the event space temporarily to calm down.

Moving from a meeting room into the corridor for a while, or getting some air outside can help diffuse the situation. If they are not able to calm down and remain aggressive the person may be asked to leave the event and not come back on that occasion.

If someone is being violent the first priority is the personal safety of the people around them, do not hesitate to leave the situation and get away from the violent person. Do not put yourself in danger. In the case of a serious threat of violence or actual violence, we advise that you call the police immediately.

Bullying and harassment is something that has happened that is unwelcome, unwarranted and causes a detrimental effect. It may be offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, abuse or misuse of power through means that undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient. It may be violating someone's dignity or creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment

Examples of bullying or harassing behaviour may include but are not limited to:

Unfair treatment, picking on or regularly undermining someone, spreading malicious rumours, repeatedly touching or hugging someone without asking their permission, unwelcome sexual advances such as touching, standing too close, the display of offensive materials, sending unwanted pictures, asking for sexual favours, making decisions on the basis of sexual advances being accepted or rejected, not respecting someone if they request to be left alone either in person or through digital communication, shouting or verbal abuse, threatening violence, ostracism by making someone feel unwelcome or deliberately leaving them out.
Making inappropriate and offensive comments based on age, sex, disability, gender reassignment, marriage and civil partnership, pregnancy and maternity, race religion or belief and sexual orientation.
Bullying and harassment can happen face-to-face, by letter, by email, by phone, by text or direct message and on social media (cyber-bullying).

AfH activities are not therapeutic interventions and it is important that everyone has a clear understanding of and willingness to express compassion and boundaries.

When we talk about compassion, we are referring to the conscious presence of listening and caring for people and the positive reinforcement that people, their thoughts and feelings matter.

Boundaries, in this context, mean having compassion for yourself and the rest of the people around you by understanding the limits of how much care we can offer one person. 

Examples of balancing compassion with boundaries are: 

1. Disruptive behaviour - If someone is behaving inappropriately or intentionally being offensive or discriminatory to you or other members of the group, a compassionate response would be to pause, and remember this person wants to be happy as much as anyone else and must have something going on to make them this way. A boundaried response would be to calmly and firmly call out the behaviour and bring the whole group attention back to the Three Golden Rules and to exclude that person if they fail to adhere to them. 

2. Dominating the conversation - If a group member feels really passionate about a topic and has also been talking at length with no sign of stopping. A boundaried response would be to politely interrupt and mention that you’re curious to hear what others are thinking. A compassionate response would start that interruption by celebrating their passion and one or more pieces of wisdom you notice in what they are saying. 

3. Silent/Invisible group members - If you have someone attending the session, but not using video or audio. A compassionate response would be to recognise this person might be feeling vulnerable and be practicing self-care by not participating. A boundaried response would be offering to speak with them 1 on 1 during the breakouts and to see if you can encourage them to participate fully alongside others.